Unlike nature, I am always in a hurry to do great things. I’d love to be able to say, all noble and head held stupendously high, that patience is one of my virtues. But it’s not. I’m too curious, too ambitious, too bloody stubborn to let things run their natural course.
I’m also thirty years old, soon to be thirty one, and I’ve spent so many years of my life dangerously ill and peeking behind the veil that separates us from the beyond, that I live to make up for lost time. I read a quote today from the book I’m currently feverishly devouring – In The Kingdom of Ice – the words of a wife whose ship officer husband had fallen under the spell of the Arctic:
‘The adventure had affected him deeply and would not let him rest.’
This basically describes me. I tried ‘resting’ once and I didn’t like it. Not at all. I’m forever interested, forever hungry for new knowledge, new experiences, new skills.
2017 was the first year in I don’t know how many years that I didn’t write a list of what I wanted to accomplish in the coming 12 months. 2016 left me mentally battered and bruised following the catastrophic mistake of coming off my anti-depressants when I really shouldn’t have.
For months I could hardly get out of bed, let alone read a book or create anything of worth. We’re closing in on March and I still haven’t given my eyebrows the attention they deserved to have way back in September of last year. I’ll start plucking and then I’ll think, ‘I want to be writing now…’ or, ‘I want to be in the forest now,’ or ‘I want to be watching American Horror Story with my boyfriend now.’
Anyway, when the time came to sit down and prepare myself for the new year, I just wasn’t ready. My head was still recovering, my thoughts were still scattering whenever I tried to gather them together in one place.
But now I’m ready to commit words to paper, and words to blog. I have something a direction for my personal development. I should say this is a working list and is by no means ‘complete.’ I’ll be updating it and shaping it and re-sharing it over the year. (In my notebook I’ve split the year up into two halves and have started with the goals I want to achieve by June, which, I think, makes everything more manageable.)
Love & Family
- Be more present with my family here in Sweden.
- Stay in better contact with my family in England i.e. more letter writing, more Skype conversations.
- Go on more adventures into the forest, to random museums, to the Arctic Circle. We’re nearly there anyway.
- Practice gratitude all the time.
- Eat at the table. Bad habit of not doing this.
- Keep a record of our life. Photo albums need to make a comeback. I’m going to bring them back.
- Be fucking silly.
- Make healthier food. Together.
- Challenge each other to think outside the box.
Magically & Spiritually
- Learn to cast runes (I also intend to make my own using materials I find here in the forest.)
- Learn to read tarot (For years I’ve been telling myself ‘you don’t have the time. This is the year I make the time. Currently looking for a pack which speaks to me, and I’m drawn to The Wanderer’s Tarot pack.)
- Learn palmistry. My mother has a knack for this.
- Better honour the wheel of the year, i.e. carve the pumpkin in time for Samhain.
- Develop my knowledge of herb lore and healing.
- Use more natural ingredients in my cooking and make meals that will nourish in more ways than one.
- Re-learn the essentials of spell casting.
- Become more familiar with the moon and her cycles.
- Develop my knowledge of crystals and their healing properties.
Mentally & Emotionally
- Cast aside jealously. (I have a fucking terrible habit of ‘over feeling’ about stuff on the internet.)
- Find balance. (Probably one of the most difficult things I’ll set myself up to do this year.)
- Remain on my medication and don’t make the same mistake as last year.
- Change my thinking so my mind and I can live in relative peace with each other.
- Practice mindfulness. (When I do manage to do this, the relief is EXTRAORDINARY. But then I fall back into bad patterns again and need to start the cycle over.)
- Accept my body for the temple it…is.
- Have courage.
- Embrace my optimism. Always.
- Laugh more.
- Connect with others more, even if it is just online because I’m not the world best ‘real life’ socialiser.
- Improve my posture. It’s so bad.
- Continue to grow my hair. Biggest mistake was to cut it last year.
- Resume with my running, which I haven’t done in a few months now.
- To take MUCH better care of my body overall, i.e. ALWAYS take off my makeup before bed, cut my nails when they get raggedy, do a natural face mask every once in a while, don’t shower in water hot enough to cause third degree burns.
- Develop my writing craft. Every. Single. Day. Never use a word unnecessarily.
- Learn something new each day.
- Read more books.
- Read more blogs.
- Develop as a photographer. More shoots. More reading about photography. More experimentation.
- Grow as a blogger.
- Review more. Much more. I bloody love reviewing.
- Become brilliant at cross stitch.
- Make my own candles.
- Learn calligraphy.
- Discover new music that gets into my bones.
- Work towards living off my work – 80% writing 20% other creative endeavours – by the end of the year.
- Have a new poetry collection published – by a publisher I respect – featuring brand new, unseen poems.
- Have a poetry collection published featuring my best work from over the past however many years – also by a publisher I respect.
- Maintain my blogs so they read and run and attract readers effortlessly.
- Establish an Etsy shop linked to this here blog selling wyrd stuff I’ve crafted and written.
- Re-work my solo poetry show (I started this back in 2015) and perform here in Sweden.
- Re-launch my magazine Wyrd Words & Effigies OR conjure up a new one. I can’t stop thinking about doing this.
- Continue learning about Inuit culture and spirituality and incorporating it into my creative work.
- Continue to study the culture, nature and history of the Arctic and the impact of global warming on the north.
- Develop my knowledge of Northern Shamanism including the traditions of the Norse and Sami people.
- Improve my understanding of the history of witchcraft in North America, England and Scandinavia.
- Learn more about how other modern witches and pagans and pagan witches are going about their daily lives.
- Learn what I can and can’t forage from nature.
Everything Else Important
- Be economical with resources. If I can ride my bike there, I’ll ride my bike there.
- Dedicate time to learning how our behaviour is affecting the polar ice caps…and what I can do to help.
- Not throw away things that could be recycled i.e. a glass bottle that can hold a candle.
- Develop my thrifting eye.
- Grow plants and herbs and keep them alive.
- Reach the Arctic Circle.
I know I said it was going to be long, but…heck! In tomorrow’s post I’ll be reviewing one of the best things to happen to my life in recent years, The Mother Issue of Sabat Magazine.